‘Responsibility’
Success and Resentment
Have you ever wondered why so many people resent success? I know the attitude that underlies this resentment, but there is no justification for it. Most successful people get where they are by not only outworking and outthinking everyone else, but also because they are willing to take the kind of risks that average people fear.
In fact, many of the people who resent success had many of the same opportunities to be successful, if not more. However, instead of looking in the mirror and admitting they were unwilling to do what it took to get there, they find it much more satisfying to try and bring others down. I have been watching this for many years and witnessed it again over the weekend.
This past Saturday, I spent 9 hours in a high school gym watching my daughter Emily, and her team, The Bouncing Bulldogs, compete in the Region II Jump Rope Championships. The top four finishers in their age group, in each event (11 of them), qualify for the national championships, held at the end of June in Orlando.
Emily competed in all eleven events and I’m very proud to say that she won the gold medal in eight events, the bronze medal in one and a 5th place ribbon in another. In fact, based on total points the Bouncing Bulldogs as a team, won the regional championships for the 15th straight year. The Bulldogs have won the national championship for the last three years running and make up the majority of the US National Team that has dominated the world championships the last two times it was held. They are arguably the best jump rope team in the world.
What’s puzzling and very disturbing, though not surprising about their success, is the reaction of other teams and people, including those in charge of the sport! Instead of trying to duplicate their success; holding them up as role models; or promoting them as the face of the sport (for purposes of legitimizing the sport), the Bulldogs have been bad-mouthed and derided by other teams jealous of their success, yet far too lazy to try and duplicate it.
USA Jump Rope, the governing body of the sport (a sport that is desperate to get recognized as an Olympic sport) even changes the rules used in competition on a yearly basis, in order to try and derail the Bulldog express. Naturally, it hasn’t worked; the Bulldogs just work harder and keep winning. Duh!
At this past weekend’s regional championships, two teams who had been in our region in the past, switched regions this year because they complained that not enough of their kids were qualifying for Nationals. The other teams there were almost disdainful of the Bulldogs. One group of coaches and parents from another team wouldn’t even clap when kids from the Bulldogs were called up to receive their medals and ribbons. How pathetic is that?
The Bulldogs, like any successful group, outwork everybody. These kids are in the gym almost every single day. The older kids MENTOR the younger ones and make sure they pass down this culture of excellence. Are they doing anything that any other team couldn’t do? Of course not; they’re just doing what almost every other team is unwilling to do. But instead of looking in the mirror, taking responsibility and trying harder (much harder), these teams and the sorry adults who run them have the misguided notion that their failure is not so bad if they can tear down those who have succeeded.
I’ll guarantee if asked, every one of these other teams would want the same success as the Bulldogs, which tells us that people resent successful people mostly because they’re not one of them.
Bringing someone else down to legitimize your own failures does not make you more successful; it just makes you a bigger loser. I would much rather give it my all and fall a little short, than never give it a shot and knock those who do. How about you?
Response from a Salesperson
Back in January, I posted a blog entry titled "Prospecting is not Prejudging." In it I told a story about my son Michael and his experience of delivering pizzas to a local BMW dealer, where he was ignored and essentially treated like gum on the bottom of the sales force’s shoes.
I made the point that Michael is a young man of 19 who will probably buy at least 10 cars in his lifetime; he will someday have a family who owns cars and will recommend cars to co-workers and friends.
A longer version of this article also appeared in a recent issue of Yamaha’s monthly magazine. This magazine goes out to all their dealers and dealer salespeople. I thought you might be interested in reading an email I received recently from one of those salespeople. Luckily, he represents a small minority of Yamaha’s dealer sales force. I did not edit it or change a word. I’d like you to get the full effect.
Mr Gresh,
Good day to you, I have read your op-eds in the Yamaha Pro Sales flyer we receive for several months now and I must admit a lot of what you are saying is true even if it is common knowledge. One of my other co-workers told me he saves and refers to your notes. I noticed you used your son as an example in the latest edition of the “YPS” flyer…it is commendable for a young man to take it upon himself to try his hand at the “real world” before leaving academia….I am sure this young man wont be delivering pizza for the rest of his life as well as I wont be in the power sports business the rest of mine. How ever this generation-Y as you put it may be spending more money than other generations before but I am sure most of it are theirs mommies and daddies money they are spending. There are far too many Z71s and Mustang GTs an bmw for a bunch of kids in high school….While it is inexcusable that we dare to prejudge any customer…I find that there are more of the ones that can’t rub the two nickels together than you may know. I sit across from these poor unfortunate ones that have either taken the easy way out and filed a bankruptcy and they can’t understand why they just bought a new car and cant get financed on a motorcycle.
While it is easy to expound on what we should do, while we try to do and meet the same end …after spending sometimes up to an hour of time that could have been spent with someone who might possibly could have qualified for financing the miscreant {remember the one who filed bankruptcy} instead of paying his bills didn’t and now can’t get financed? This may be where some of the pre-judging comes from…or is it the kid who drags in his skateboard and in pants with multiple zippers and chains hanging up and down on them and climbs on a 10-12k motorcycle….or the fellow with three or four necklaces nd a mouth full of platinum and cant pay attention. These are the real customers that come in and we shouldn’t pre-judge them…I agree we shouldn’t… but time lost with these folks is time lost and time is money isnt it?
Here is a true recent contact I had last weekend{Saturday our busy day where many units are moved} names changed to protect the responsible The Clampetts walk in…., Jed ,Elly Mae,and Granny…I do the meet and greet {whilst trying to hold my nose from body odor!} we waltz around the show room…..EllyMAe finds the one for her…..I dazzle with actual knowledge of the product over and above nearest competition… {we are a four line dealer so I babble on}
Price is discussed along with benefits and we agree to “do an application” Now this doesn’t take a long time and we can usually get a quick response…sure enough the Clampetts get turned down. Then they tell me of their medical bills they haven’t paid or paid on……Well what can I do to get approved…I suggest that she get a co-signer with good credit…. Next week sure enough they come back with cousin “It” and after going back over most of the same with EllyMAe and beginning the application process…..Cousin It doesn’t have a drivers lisecnse…so she isn’t eligible to buy a street going bike…..In the mean time not only has my lunch that had just arrived gotten cold but, I missed out on a customer who pays in cash for a new unit…..so let us all what ever generation they be and lunch not withstanding dare someone who cant buy get in the way of many who can and do trade with us…
Yes Sir a lot of what you have informed us of is common knopwledgge and it is known…here and probably at that dealership up in Chapel Hill….but have you ever tried the other side of the table to which you address? It is interesting here…you have to be part therapist, priest, counciler…then you have to be up on your game…or knowledge base….then after you have done all that and take tests and jump through all the hoops you might get to make a sale if one of the other fellows doesn’t beat you to a potential customer,or beat you out of them.
OK so now we know what not to do …mabey you could try to educate the other side of this equation…customers…. Take the kid that is interested in motorcycling….educate them that when they come in….they might actually LOOK at the bikes before climbing all over them….That they actually have the ability to purchase a motorcycle…having the wants isn’t the same as ability. Everyone can get a car or a home the interest rate you pay may not be what you want but even with bankruptcy ,an automobile can be bought…just a what price…a motorcycle on the other hand is not a necessity, you mentioned the term “discretionary income” and that is what it takes to buy a motorcycle…. Well thanks for your part,I stand ready to do mine….heres hoping the customer can do theirs…and no offense I do not want to receive your news letter…
thanks,
Rodm850g
Wow! Where do I start? I guess the best place to start is the way he butchered my name: Gresh? Where’d he get that? My name appears in Yamaha’s magazine every month and in order to send me an email he needs to type out warren@greshes.com. Who did he think the Greshes was in greshes.com?
Next thing that struck me was how angry he was; not at me, mostly at the people he deals with every day (not much of an attitude for a salesman). It first became evident when he wrote, “However, this generation Y as you put it may be spending more money than other generations before, but I am sure most of it are their mommies and daddies money they are spending. There are far too many Z71s and Mustang GTs an bmw for a bunch of kids in high school.”
Who the hell cares where they get the money from? The point is, either they have it or their parents have it and they’re spending it! Believe me, it’s REALLY bad when a salesperson resents the prospects.
Next, he refers to prospects as miscreants, The Clampetts, Cousin It, and mentions “trying to hold my nose from body odor!” Is it any wonder he gets all the people who can’t pass the credit check? The qualified customers probably don’t want to go near that guy. And while he makes it sound as if a vast majority of prospects who walk in are destitute, somehow I have the feeling he’s taking isolated instances and making them the norm. More, importantly, if he hates it so much, why does he keep doing it?
I had to laugh when he asked if I’d ever been on the other side of the table. Having been a salesman in New York’s infamous Garment Center for 10 years, not only was I on the other side of table, but under it, over it, and hit on the head with it more times than I care to remember.
But I think of all the absurd statements in this email “…mabey you could try to educate the other side of this equation…customers….” was my favorite. I thought educating the customer was the salesperson’s job? Is it any wonder why so many people buy from the internet? It’s too avoid salespeople like this.
One thing I was wondering about was the other salesperson he mentioned at the beginning of his email. The one, who keeps my articles, makes notes and refers to them. I wonder if he’s having the same problem?
There’s No Such Thing as a Dead End Job
A pet peeve of mine is people who look down on what others do for a living. Particularly, when people call jobs such as those at McDonald’s or Wal-Mart or various non-skilled (and even some skilled) jobs, “dead end” jobs. Fortunately, history has proven these white collar snobs wrong, time and time again.
A job put in the hands of a person with the right attitude, no matter how big or small and regardless of pay or stature, is an opportunity on a number of different levels always. Whether it is:
- To “Show your stuff.”
- To create a favorable impression.
- To get much needed work experience
- To learn responsibility
- To get your foot in the door, or;
- To be in the right place at the right time (which can only be accomplished if you’re in a lot of places), because you never know when someone will say, “I could use someone with your attitude.”
If you don’t believe stuff like that happens, let me introduce you to two people that I wrote about in my book, The Best Damn Sales Book Ever: 16 Rock-Solid Rules for Achieving Sales Success. There names are Wayne Thorpe and (my sister-in-law) Brenda Romano.
Wayne Thorpe was a high school drop-out whose job was cleaning out animal cages in a pharmaceutical research lab. The “Anointed” would tell you this was a dead-end job. But Wayne Thorpe is a man who exudes positive attitude, and let me tell you something about positive attitude: it’s a magnet for other people with positive attitude.
An executive at the pharmaceutical company was drawn to Wayne’s positive attitude and began mentoring him, and eventually pushed him to reach his potential. Wayne went back to school and became a toxicologist, and he got interested in business; after retiring from the pharmaceutical company, he started four companies and is now one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the city of Durham, North Carolina.
My sister-in-law, Brenda Romano, never went to college. Now I agree a college degree is better than a high school diploma, but why do we send out a message that without a college degree you’re doomed to failure? Instead, she went to secretarial school and then worked as a secretary at Wrangler jeans. However, her dream was to work in the music industry at a record company.
Finally, she was able to land a job as a secretary at RCA records. Most secretaries have a very poor image of their job. How many times have you heard one say, “I’m only the secretary here.” Of course, the fact that too many of them are treated poorly adds to that self-image. But not Brenda, she looked at the job as an opportunity and because of her “No problem attitude,” she was willing to do anything asked of her: working late, working weekends, relocating (3 times) and going way beyond her job description.
Of course, she was promoted and eventually moved on to bigger and better things with other companies. Today, she is the president of one of the most successful record labels in the business and one of the highest ranking women in the music industry. By the way, still no college degree.
My son Michael is taking a year off from college and is working full time as a pizza delivery man. He’s amazed at how many people look down upon him because of what he does, but is smart enough to know they’re essentially idiots. As his father, I can tell you this is the best thing he’s ever done, because I can see the benefits he has derived.
He has learned about the importance of showing up and showing up every day. He has learned how to deal with all sorts of customers and situations, an area where way too many executives could use some improvement. He has learned responsibility and most importantly, the value of a dollar. In nine months of working full time he has saved over $10,000! And, in case you were wondering, yes, I do charge him rent. I have a feeling he will learn more in this year than in the next 3 years at college.
I wonder how many successful executives, professionals and business owners got their start in one of those dead-end hamburger flipping jobs at McDonald’s? A job, any job, if nothing else, teaches you responsibility: show up on time, show up every day and work hard. What’s so bad about that? Everybody has to start somewhere.
Remember, there’s no such a thing as a "dead end job," just “dead end attitudes.”
Prospects Don’t Buy Badmouthing
The other day I looked out the window and noticed a car parked in front of my house. The driver was just sitting there, which seemed pretty suspicious to me since not much ever happens on my street.
As my wife was leaving in her car, he flagged her down. It turns out the guy in the car used to work for our current lawn service, but now works for the competition. I guess he wanted to see if he could get us to switch our service to his company. I say that because he sure went about it the wrong way. In fact, he pissed off my wife!
Instead of telling us about his new company (like who they are and the benefits of doing business with them), he spent the whole time knocking his old company; our current lawn service.
Why do so many people believe that if you tear down someone else it makes you look better? I guess it’s easier to tear someone else down than to build yourself up to compete. Let’s face it, if you actually want to build something, you’ll need skilled, highly paid labor. But if you need to tear it down, you’ll only need unskilled labor that can swing a sledge hammer.
Let me tell you what kind of picture you’re painting and the perception you’re creating when all you do is knock the competition.
First off, by telling my wife that our lawn service company is bad, he’s telling her she’s an idiot for spending money with them. Good move! Nothing like telling your prospects they’re idiots. The best part is even if we weren’t happy with our lawn service, the only thing that he did with his criticism was win them the “sympathy vote.”
Second, when all you can do is find fault with the competition, this tells me that you have no credibility. Nobody is 100% terrible (hey, I’ve even been on US Air flights that have landed on time). If you can’t tell me one good thing about a company you worked for, I have to assume there’s an ax to grind and you are incapable of being objective.
Third, if your whole sales approach is centered on why you shouldn’t buy from the competition, while not telling us a thing about yourself, I have to figure you don’t have much of a company. If you can’t tell me one good thing about your company, why should I buy from you? It’s similar to the politician who runs on a platform of “Vote for me, I’m not him.” No wonder we end up with so many sub-standard people in office.
If you want to make yourself look good do it the right way. Be positive and sell yourself, then sell the benefits of doing business with your company. Remember, don’t knock the competition because all you’re doing is giving them free publicity.
Prospecting is Not Prejudging
My son Michael is 19 years old. Last May, after completing his first year of college, he decided to take a year off and work full time, which he’s been doing since June ’06. Right now he is working as a delivery driver for a local pizza parlor.
The other night he came home with a story about one of his customers that points out the problem of not only prejudging prospects, but judging people by such things as appearance, age or job.
Michael had just delivered $300 worth of pizzas to a local BMW dealership. As he drove up, he said two salespeople were hanging around outside. Neither one even bothered to acknowledge him.
After he parked in front, he now had to bring the pizzas into the dealership. Michael had to put the pizzas on the ground because nobody was even willing to hold the door for him.
Once inside he was barely acknowledged. The manager, who has seen Michael quite a few times on subsequent deliveries, couldn’t even be bothered to say hello.
It’s obvious to me the salespeople at this dealership look at Michael and see a teenager, dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt, working a low-level job, who couldn’t possibly afford to buy a BMW today. So why even bother to give him the time of day, let alone be courteous? But let me tell you what I see, and what they might have if they bothered to find out.
I see a young man driving an Infiniti. Yes, it’s a used Infiniti, but if someone would have taken the time to ask they would have found that it is Michael’s and he paid for it. So now we know he owns his own car. That dealership sells used BMW’s; hmm, blown opportunity for a possible trade-in.
I see a young man working a full time job, who’s been working since he was 15, making his own money and if someone would have asked, they’d have found out that he makes around $500 a week, has saved over $8,000 in the last 8 months and is planning to go back to college in the fall.
There’s no doubt that someone like Michael, over the course of his life, will probably buy around 10 cars, if not more. He might also get married one day and I’m sure his wife will buy cars. How about his kids; do you think at some point in their lives they’ll buy cars? What about Michael’s friends; do you think they’ll ever have a conversation about cars and the best places to buy one? Guess who’s not going to get any of this business?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not psychic. I can’t determine how much a person can afford or whether they’re a good prospect just by looking at them. Well, let me ask you: what does a millionaire look like? Have you ever known anyone who dressed like a bum and had millions? I know I have. On the other hand, I’ve known lots of people who look like a million yet couldn’t rub two nickels together.
I also know that teenagers become adults. Young people in low paying jobs get raises and better jobs as they get older. But most of all I know that I don’t know a thing about you until I take the time to talk to you and ask questions.
The Simplest Way to Save Money: ASK!
About a week ago, my wife called our local heating/cooling/plumbing service company to send someone to our house to check out the problem we were having with our water heater. Naturally, it was not good news (is it ever?).
The plumber informed us that we needed a new water heater. After going over our options, on both water heaters and warranties, we found that the bill would come to $1,933. Naturally, the first thing both my wife and I wanted to know was: “What can you do for us?”
The plumber gave us the name of the right person to speak to and the next morning I got on the phone with the office manager. By the time I got off the phone I had obtained a discount of almost $350. All because I asked!
The point of this story is that most people just accept any price thrown at them. They’re either too afraid or ashamed to ask. There’s no shame in saving money. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could have happened to me when I asked for a discount? They could have said “No.” So what, I’m still no worse off than I was before.
They don’t put you in jail for asking for a discount, and also no one is putting a gun to the seller’s head to give one to you. I’m amazed at how much money both consumers and business people leave on the table.
Call all the companies you do business with and find out if there are any special deals going on. Call your phone company, cell phone company, utility company and find out if there are ways to lower your bills. And don’t forget to check your bills thoroughly each month; companies make mistakes. In the last four months, I found over $200 worth of mistakes on my cell phone bills. Better off in my pocket than theirs.
Now, let’s look at this from the salesperson’s or business owner’s side. As a business owner, I always have prospective clients asking for discounts, either on my fee or on my products (audios, videos, books). My policy is this: On my fee I never discount unless someone is willing to book me for multiple engagements. On products the policy is the same: bulk orders get the discounts.
This does force me to say "no" to many prospective clients, but remember it is the client’s responsibility to ask for a discount. They want to get the most they can for their money. However, as a salesperson or business owner, it is not your responsibility to cave in.
Once you start dropping your price too quickly and easily, be prepared to always drop your price. There’s a great old expression from my days as a salesman in The Garment Center in New York City: “The way you break them in, is the way they’re always going to be.”
Don’t be so quick to drop your price. Usually, when a client asks for a discount, they’re testing you to see how much they can get away with. You’d be surprised how many people back down when you say, “No.”
Quick note: I just asked for and received my first ever senior citizen discount at the movies (I turned 55 in October). On second thought, I should have started asking when I was 40. Most of the people working at movie ticket booths are teenagers and to them everyone 40 and above looks 60 anyhow. 